WARNING!  Please girls, if you are to view 
these naked pictures of me, be sitting down, 
so you don't get the vapors.
  Obviously, an early indication of how 
   I would feel for the rest of my life.

Man, did I used to be a snappy dresser...I wish I had 
that outfit now.  I believe those are capri pants...
all the kids are following my lead these days.

  Is it my imagination, or do I look like Opie?

At some point, it seems my fashion sense just
left, as well as my common sense.  I appear
to be holding a skunk, which can't be a good thing.

   Please ladies!  Contain yourselves!  I was
   a young lad then, and though I try to maintain
   my girlish figure,  I look a little different on
   the beach these days.

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